I lived in a bubble. A bubble constructed of willful ignorance, of social normality and simultaneously social isolation. But I also live in a world where sexual harassment is more common than I ever thought.
But there’s one difference between me and most of the other people who want to approach this highly debated topic.
I am a guy.
Until recently, I made most of my friends solely based on my own interests, leading me to receive opinions from them and never hearing from anyone I didn’t already agree with. Recently, however, through taking different classes at LHS, I have been forced to open my eyes and talk to those same people I had previously ignored.
The “rape culture” that my classmates discussed after a recent article in the Lancer Spirit Magazine, at first, seemed ridiculous. I thought rape culture was just a term used by women to exaggerate rape and bully men.
Could so many men really be preying on women on a daily basis? These women had to be crazy. I had female friends, and they never told me about any times they had been harassed.
So I shrugged it off.
Little did I know that these incidents weren’t as uncommon as I had led myself to believe.
This reality became apparent to me after speaking to female classmates about sexual assault and rape. That was something that I wouldn’t have ever discussed before then, but soon I understood that when you’re sexually assaulted, or harassed for that matter, it’s humiliating. It’s traumatizing. It changes your life.
The first thing you ask yourself is not “Who should I tell?” but “Who would ever believe me?”
That, along with certain men downplaying these events, is the biggest reason why sexual harassment has become so normalized and why women don’t report an assault.
You don’t want to confront your rapist in a court of law. You’ll have to see them again, and that will bring those memories back.
That night you were at a college frat party. That time he led you upstairs to rest before heading home, promising that you would be safe. And then the flashes of that same dark room, silhouettes of drunken men running their hands up your body. You had no idea what was happening. You just wanted to get out. But they won’t let you. You were their plaything, and there was no escape.
It sounds despicable, but it’s what one in six women must endure in today’s society.
That’s why I’m writing this piece. For the girl in that room and for misinformed guys still stuck in that bubble.
But this is definitely not for those who minimize women being assaulted. Or even for those men whose sexually-laced comments make women uncomfortable.
They aren’t going to listen anyway.
I am speaking to all the men who want to see these things stop. Those like me who have been unaware of this issue for so long but who want it to change.
After all, it’s not too late to take action.
People in the world will continue to harass and rape women, so what can we men do about it?
Look back on all of the conversations you’ve had with your friends, all the people you discussed the trial of Brett Kavanaugh and Doctor Ford with. Was there enough evidence to convict Kavanaugh? Do you think Ford was telling the truth?
I certainly do.
Ford and the rest of these girls aren’t “making it up,” and the more people refuse to believe them, the more frequent these vile acts will become. We need to take a stand and support the women who speak out to put these appalling men into the light.
So don’t throw these women into a corner or say they’re doing it for the fame and attention. Chances are, they’re not.
I believe these women.
And so should you.
Abigail Whitcomb
Jan 3, 2019 at 7:40 pm
Dustyn,
I think this piece isn’t about the outcome of the trial, but the buildup to it. A women of Doctor Ford’s status shouldn’t have had to go to the stand and be seen as guilty before proven innocent in front of the entire world.
Chris, when I read the headline I definitely had some assumptions, but you proved me wrong. Yet again, the Lancer Spirit reporters continue to blow me away with each and every eloquently written article. Thank you for giving me hope that men of your age can exceed my expectations.
Dustyn Johnson
Dec 21, 2018 at 1:16 am
Kavanaugh was found not guilty.