It’s week four of online learning and week five of quarantine, but it’s already felt like forever. These trying times have brought out many emotions in me that frankly, I didn’t realize I had. It’s been testing me since the beginning, seeing how far I can go before I break. I’m not even close to breaking, but it’s already so difficult, which worries me a lot.
I’m an introvert at heart, and I do enjoy some aspects of being inside and doing my own thing with this time to myself. But it gets old after a while, and I am starting to miss my friends more and more as each day passes.
I’m sure many can relate when I say this all happened just as life was getting better. 2018 and 2019 were probably the worst years of my life. So much happened, but 2020 was going to be so much better, and you know why?
I finally found someone to love.
My girlfriend has been my best friend for 3 years now, and we started dating in December; I’m thankful for it every day. It’s so difficult not being able to see her or hug her or do anything with her except calls over the phone, but I’m trying to hang on with the thin thread that’s left.
We’ve been making do with video calls every now and then, and also texting. As of recently, to start a kind of routine to make this quarantine pass a little quicker, we came up with the idea of doing a video call each night at 7. One week we watch one of her favorite shows, and the next week we watch one of mine.
That schedule already helps a little, but the harsh reality is still there. I’m not able to see my girlfriend.
Every day it settles in more and more of how serious this situation is and I don’t want to complain. My mindset has always been ‘other people have it worse than you, suck it up’. That’s not often the case as everyone has a different reaction to certain things, but I still can’t help but to think like that. I can’t help but think that this is going to last a lot longer than predicted, and it hurts every time that pops up in my mind. Who knows when I’ll be able to see my girlfriend next?
I don’t think many people tend to realize how difficult it is to not be able to see your significant other. It may seem really cheesy to say this, but I won’t lie when I say that my girlfriend is my everything.
I’ve already opened up to her about so many personal things that I wouldn’t dream of telling anyone else. Now that this outlet is gone, neither of us know what to do. We still talk over the phone, over text, and over facetime. But it doesn’t feel the same as being in person with her, being able to simply hold her hands to let her know that I’m there. It hurts my heart every time I think about it. We don’t realize how significant the small things are and how much we love them, until we can’t have them.
The two of us definitely have different coping methods with this situation, which we’ve talked about. My method, although it isn’t very effective sometimes, is to keep myself busy with something.
Whether that be drawing, dancing, doing schoolwork, or something else, it helps to take my mind off of things. Of course the option I usually go with is to text or call her. Although it’s tough, hearing her voice helps me.
I have complete faith, both in her and our relationship, and that’s helped with this situation a little bit. I worry about quarantine every day, but I know that someday we’ll make it out okay, and this’ll be over.
There will be an end to this, and although it’ll be difficult to transition back, we’re all strong enough to overcome this.
