You heard it here first! Snow is no longer a fun thing to jump into, or let land on your tongue, it’s turned fatal. According to the very real researchers I have contacted, snow is now causing symptoms that could potentially be akin to a deadly virus. Effects include:
The shivers.
Blue lips.
Ugly skin.
Pink cheeks.
Sniffly noses.
Increased desire for Hot chocolate .
We have no idea how serious this could become. To be safe, I will name it as deadly, fatal and flesh eating, for everyone’s comfort. There’s always a possibility. These symptoms caused by snow could reign chaos upon LHS.
Fear not, after decades of research, I have personally discovered the cure to this disease.
A snow day.
If a snow day is conducted, those suffering with this disease can be spared. Snow causes this disease, so if we make sure everyone stays at home, the spread should significantly decrease. A snow day must occur or disaster may strike
However, we are all subject to Superintendent Mr. Black (and team), the great Snow Day Decider. He sits in his grand snow-covered throne and declares the possibility of a snow day with the flick of his wrist. But fear not, his powers can be limited. Using scientist tested methods, there are ways to weaken his nature defying powers. So listen. If we want a snow day tomorrow we must band together to create a forcefield that will prevent the Great Snow Day Decider from allowing school.
The recipe for the forcefield begins as follows.
All pajama pants must be turned inside out. This means the opposite direction than you would normally wear your pants. This also acts as a warning to mother nature that her children have a collective need.
Next, all students must place a spoon under their pillow. Creating the second force field ring.
Its presence also tells mother nature that our needs are snow related.
Then, ice cubes must be flushed down the toilet. This shows mother nature snow must be cast amongst the land. And secures the final force field ring.
Finally, a white crayon in the freezer solidifies to mother nature that the snow shall be created to last the entire day.
If we can complete these steps, a message will be sent to mother nature that a snow day is desired and create a forcefield the Great Snow Day Decider cannot penetrate.
So spread the word. Fight against the snow borne disease and create the forcefield. Your undone assignments are counting on you.
Why are you still reading? Go! Start turning your Pj’s inside out, we don’t have time to spare!
